The Bride and The Bride

Let’s remember who our authority is!

We need to replace the authority and control of Christians back into the hands of Christ (in order to understand the relationship of the bride… and the bride).

God’s ways and his guidelines for our lives, what He determines to be right or wrong is not alterable according to whatever cultures there are in the world. Man might change his environment and technology, modernism and liberalism might take one course after another, but God’s Word stays the same. For a person to dedicate himself to the Lord and to the Lordship of Jesus, he must follow according to God’s will…not his own. I’ve heard many so-called Christian preachers making a steady stream of what they consider to be logical, even theological, twists and turns to pervert God’s Word concerning the role of husband and wife, both in the church and in the home. Plainly, God’s word instructs wives to obey their husbands. There’s no getting around that. Well, not if we read God’s Word as it is: not in its twisted version that is promoted by modern day preachers in order to “keep pace” with the ungodly decline of morality in the world, in order to “not offend” anyone by preaching something that someone might not want to hear, in order to increase church membership, in order to take in more money. But there is great revelation in understanding God’s word concerning his directives for a Christian marriage; revelations that will not only strengthen marriages, but will strengthen the faith and understanding of single Christians as well. Paul has much to say about women and marriage, as well as women concerning the church, giving clear instructions:

Ephesians chapter 5:

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 3 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

During the course of his instructions, at one point the touches upon this key to understanding his deeper revelation and states, “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” The guidelines for a Godly marriage apply to both the human and the spiritual relationships. They parallel each other. What applies to one, applies to both. Scripture says a woman is to obey her husband, even as the bride of Christ is supposed to obey Him. A man in his role as bride of Christ, takes upon himself the female role of a marriage, and has one husband: Jesus. A wife, in her role as bride of Christ, has two husbands: her natural husband and Jesus. Her commitment to Jesus is shown by not only her obedience to Him, but to her natural husband as well, because it is God’s word that instructs her to obey her natural husband; therefore, to disregard one husband is to disregard both. A Christian husband, in obedience to God himself, will not lead his wife into sin and there should never be a problem; a non-Christian husband is to be honored, only as he is not leading into unrighteousness. Titus chapter 2 says:

But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. 3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

He doesn’t say, “Obey only if you think he’s right” or, “Unless you really don’t want to.” He doesn’t say, “Only if you agree with him.” He simply says, “Wives, be obedient your own husband.”

Concerning spiritual matters, the husband’s responsibility is to lead his wife and family, just as Christ, through the indwelling Holy Spirit, is to lead and guide the members of his body, the church. We are to obey God’s word, regardless of whether we agree with what He says or not. Regardless of whatever difficulty or hardship will come of it. We are His wife; we are the bride. Whether male or female, we all take on the female role with Jesus (God’s word incarnate) as the husband. If a wife is not submissive to her earthly husband’s lead, scripture says that the Word of God is blasphemed (because it shows contempt for God’s Word, as shown through disobedience to it. See verse 5). Likewise, when Christians in their role as bride disobey God’s word or the leading of the Holy Spirit, we thereby reject our husband’s lead also and the Word of God is blasphemed; for it is then when our claim that Jesus is our Lord is proven false by our actions or attitudes. Jesus asked, “Why do you call me Lord and do not the things that I say?” Luke chapter 6 says;

46 And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say? 47 Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: 48 He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. 49 But he that heareth, and doeth not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great.

In spite of the claims of many that they love the Lord, Jesus said, “If you love me you’ll obey me.”

John 14:21; “He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.”

These guidelines were written to the church…to Christians. To spirit-filled believers who obey the Lord, not the lip-service kind. It is only by that spiritual baptism that we are joined to the body of Christ:
1 Corinthians 12:13; “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.”

The brideship speaks of the relationship of both natural and spiritual marriage. This relationship cannot exist harmoniously between husbands and wives if both are not born again Christians. Either the wife will not understand the necessity of a submissive spirit and how it relates to her commitment to God, or the husband will be over-bearing and abusive in one form or another. Just as Jesus comes to us, in the form of the indwelling Holy Spirit, to lead and guide us into all truth and righteousness, for the perfecting of us into holiness and blamelessness; so, too, should a husband instruct in spiritual matters in the home. If we understand that the human relationship is to mirror the relationship between Christ and His bride (as individual members of the church), then we must also realize that Jesus does not demand that we become His bride. On our part, it’s a matter of our free will to be so. We follow God’s Word and precepts because we love Him and are committed to Him - because we will to do so. We follow regardless of whether we feel his presence or not, regardless of hardship or loss. We overcome temptation and endure trials, seeking only to please the One we are called to. We offer, as on an altar of sacrifice, our lives to him, our will, our obedience.

Romans 12:1; “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”

We must be submissive voluntarily, not of force, but out of an inward heart that loves Him and wants to please him. Just as the Bride of Christ is to uphold and abide by the teachings of Christ as her husband, so should a Christian wife be towards her husband, who is her head, just as Christ is head of the church.

The bride is not only to follow Christ during times of anointing and blessings but to also follow in the hard times, of perils, trials and afflictions. Whether times are convenient or otherwise, easy or difficult. Submission, though given of ones freewill (to become the bride) is also a requirement if indeed the church (individually or collectively) is considered by Christ to be his bride, and Him their Lord.

Wives should be submissive, even to unsaved husbands (as long as it’s not contrary to God), that the husbands be won by their godly living. 1 Peter chapter 3: 1 says:

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.”

In this scripture, the word “conversation” does NOT mean the verbal kind; “conversation” means manner or life, behavior, and conduct.

New Testament teaching also states that if a wife seeks an answer to a question…she should ask her husband at home. 1 Corinthians 14:35 says;

“And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home.”

This also, is two-fold, relating to both natural and spiritual marriage. As a Christian, it is the husband’s responsibility to give spiritual leadership and guidance just as it is the work of the Holy Spirit to lead His Bride. For a wife to seek guidance outside of her husband shows lack of faith in him, lack of trust and commitment to him as her head. Such a wife might come to her husband after having asked him a question of spiritual concern and say, “Well, the guy down the street said thus and so…” and “The pastor said it should be this way or that way,” or, “Well, you know what a great Christian that brother so and so is and he said…” But this just belittles her husband and shows her lack of faith in him as her leader in spiritual matters. He might easily think (to himself anyway), “Well why didn’t you marry brother so and so then, or the pastor?”

This type of lack of faith undermines his authority and demonstrates to him that he does not have a marriage that’s within the will of God. Yet if a wife honors God’s word (therefore, her own commitment to God) by placing herself willingly under her husband’s leadership and responsibility, then the faith she places in him will result in him fulfilling his role to both his wife and God as well. The same could not be more true with the relationship between the Bride of Christ and the Lord Jesus Christ, her husband!

Once again, whether we are male or female, we all take on the female role of bride to the bridegroom, and scripture says again, “Wives, if you have a question, ask your HUSBAND,” which is Jesus. When we have a question, we should ask Jesus in prayer, listen to the promptings of His indwelling Spirit, or simply read His word to learn of his answer. Scripture says HE (as indwelling Spirit) shall lead you and guide you into all truth and righteousness. Again, scripture says, “Ye need not that any man teach you”:

1 John 2:27; “But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.”

Again, scripture says, “If any lack wisdom…” then here is who to ask!

James 1:5 “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

If any of you have a question, ask your husband (Jesus), not the preacher down the street. The preacher down the street is not your husband. Not brother so-and-so who is always so spiritual…He’s not your husband either.

Jesus, and the apostles as well, warned us that a multitude of false doctrine would arise and would deceive many. Cunning and crafty false teachers would be abundant, bringing damning heresies and cause many to fall away.

And where are false Christian teachers and pastors but in the ‘religious world?’ And where are “doctrines” taught but in the “religious world“? What’s the answer? A simple obedience to “ask your husband.”

Remember in the natural guidelines for a Godly home that Paul gave, he also said, “This is a mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” If indeed we are truly born of the spirit Christians, we have a husband to ask. And what lack of faith it must show to the Lord that we have in Him when we question something and run to someone other than Him! The same applies to a wife who doubts the spiritual leadership of her husband in the home; it undermines his authority and creates conflict. We should remember the scripture in Mark 3:25 that warns:

“And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.”

All a natural husband can do is, first of all, be dedicated to the Lord as a Christian himself, then give his family leadership according to Godly principles. It is then his wife and family’s responsibility, in obedience to God’s Word, to follow his instruction. This way of life cannot be forced or demanded by an earthly husband any more than God demands our obedience to Him.

Commitment and willful submission is a choice. Spiritually, as the bride of Christ, we have a choice through the grace of God to become his bride. He does not demand we be so, but at the same time there are guidelines we must follow in order to be accepted of Him. His true bride…follows Him.

Many churches call themselves the Body of Christ, the Bride, His followers, but do not teach even the basic principles of salvation, repentance, the meaning of baptism and certainly not the necessity of the infilling of the Holy Spirit (the very experience by which we are joined as members to the body of Christ!).

1 Corinthians 12:13; “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.”

After a few visits to a church you can easily discern a body of believers who worship the Lord Jesus Christ as being their Lord as opposed to those who merely claim Christianity but are not. In Christ’s church there will be a sensing of God’s presence, even upon walking into the building. There’ll be a joy of coming together to worship, and a song service that is sincerely heartfelt and has music that reflects reverence for an awesome and Holy God. There will be peace, joy, and love. So it will be likewise in a Christian home; where there is God’s order. There will be a love for Jesus, a reverence of His Holy Spirit and for God’s Word. There will be peace, joy and love. There will be a “lightness of being” in the home, which is the lack of any oppressive spirit.
In the church that does not place Jesus as Lord, there will be backbiting, hatred, envy, a struggle for position, and all manner of sin within the members. There will be lack of commitment toward God and His word. They will not preach the strength of God’s word or the power of God because they have no power with God!

There’ll be an inner turmoil within the church that is anything but Godly. So it is likewise within the individual home where God’s order is not maintained; inner turmoil, lack of joy and peace, confusion and lack of direction, a struggle for position, a lack of unity, discontent, bitterness and un-forgiveness, anger, and rage. We should be careful to follow God’s guidelines.

Usurping Authority

Of the church toward Christ, and of the wife toward her husband

Usurping authority is taking upon oneself authority that is not ones to take.

Both the physical bride and the spiritual bride of Christ are guilty of “taking matters of headship” into their own hands. Once again, what pertains to the earthly marriage, pertains to the spiritual. 1 Timothy chapter 2 says:

“11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man [the man…singular…her husband], but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.”

In those verses, the term “the man” is singular. “Suffer not a woman to teach [her husband] or to usurp authority over the man.” This, being singular, pertains to her husband and her husband alone, not men in general. A wife should not go over her husband’s authority or his position as head of the house anymore than the Bride of Christ should attempt to violate God’s laws and establish her own! As if the Bride becomes a higher authority than Jesus the husband! Such is what most churches of the world have done, but then, they aren’t really the true Bride. This does not mean that she cannot voice her opinion; to the contrary, she should! A man’s position as head of the house is as Christ over his bride. His word is the final authority and he is to govern.


A Word About Pants

If you look up the word “pants” in the concordance, you won’t find it. What you will find, in the Old Testament (still in effect), is that a woman should not wear the apparel of a man. They didn’t have pants in those days. For the proper understanding of this scripture, it must be remembered that the things of God are “spiritually discerned” and that sometimes God’s Word relates to the physical, but also sometimes relates in a way to be understood spiritually. True, physically God is totally against “cross dressing.” It is God’s design for men to be men and women to be women. To be otherwise goes against God and nature. But go beyond that to spiritual apparel…

A king wears the clothes of a king. If a servant put on the kings clothes, well!, he could be killed for that! A king would not put on the apparel of a court jester! Because he is a king. What is the order of the home? Man is the head of the house. That’s his ‘apparel.’ That’s his office, his position. ‘Head of the house’ is his apparel as scripture tells us all the way from Adam and the garden of Eden to the New Testament. Parallel to women not wearing the “apparel” of a man is the verse that says that women should not “usurp” authority over the man. In modern times (although this phrase is becoming less and less in the world), when we would see a woman dominating her husband and being in control, what do people say? “Well! You can see who’s wearing the pants in that family!”

Which piece of clothing is worn by whom matters little; it is outward, not inward (Except, of course, for cross-dressing and the inward attitude behind that).

This is not to say that the bride cannot change the husbands mind, even as Abraham petitioned God (after God said he was going to destroy the city of Sodom) to NOT destroy the city if a few righteous people could be found, we can also negotiate. We can talk things over with God. We can question him and ask why (but there is a difference between questioning and challenging). He is Lord of Lords and King of Kings, the creator of heaven and earth and all the universe. It is unthinkable that this all-powerful, all-holy, and righteous God would even bother to be involved with the affairs of man and not consider him as no more than animals or specs of dust in a vast ocean…yet He does!

How dare we ask more of Him…yet we do. How incredible it is to think that He cares about us. It is inconceivable that, still, we dare to question His Word or His authority. If we are to have the opportunity to serve Him at all, then let’s worship Him in Spirit and in Truth, as the scriptures teach. Let’s let it be according to “Thy will,” and not “our” will; according to scripture and not twisted doctrine that suits our wants or our culture. That’s what commitment to God is all about.

1 Corinthians 14

34Let your women keep silent in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak (teach); but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. 35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak (as in ‘speak with authority,‘ teach) in the church.

Many women certainly are also spirit filled, anointed Christians and have many great revelations of God’s Word. The Christian world is no doubt enhanced by them sharing what they are given by God. They share these revelations, and rightfully so, with their husbands and children and those they witness to, bringing others into the sheepfold of God. Spirit-filled women are certainly of no less value to God or the community as they live Godly lives, evangelize, and do great things.

Some of the greatest prayer warriors are women. They serve a great function in this world; of that there is no doubt. Nevertheless, the are kept out of any “authoritative” position that allows them to “have rule.” This goes back to the garden of Eden and has never been rescinded since God said, “Man shall rule over thee.”